College and University First Week Checklist

Ever play beach bingo? Find someone in a Speedo, find someone with bad tan lines, etc. Well let’s try that with your first week of college or university.

Tick off the following totally-gonna-happen milestones, as you experience them.

First year

• Get lost
• Ask someone for directions
• Ask someone the wi fi password
• Text a high school friend to say you miss them
• Receive a “nice to meet you” hug you weren’t ready for
• Ask someone where they bathroom is
• Meet someone you instantly love
• Meet someone you instantly despise
• Show up late somewhere
•  Laugh politely at a professors’ opening joke
• Feel overwhelmed in a lecture and think “I’m so f%$#@ed.”
• Find a white kid with dreadlocks (male or female)
• Meet someone clearly on the brink of tears

Returning student

• See someone you met last year, forget their name, still greet them enthusiastically
• Meet someone who planted trees over the summer and loved it
• Meet someone who planted trees over the summer and loathed it
• Utter the words “I need a nap, already”
• Wave or nod your head to someone, then tell your neighbor “God I hate that guy”
• Tell a freshman where something is
• Debate whether your summer job was more boring than this class